Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Rainy Week

It has been a rainy week. I have spent more time than usual in a snuggled position. I have felt small and sleepy and sad and lost and found. I want to be content here. It is hard. I am thankful for Kyle and prayers and friends that visit.

(Caleb, Eleanor, Grant, Jason, Hannah and Chandler: thank you for coming to us.)

1. AnnaMoan 2. Back to the Future Project 3. Brookish

Sunday, March 13, 2011


I have a lot to share about my what has been happening in my brain, heart, and life over the past few weeks, but I will put off telling you all about it for a few more days. I will blame the fact that it is Sunday.

In the meantime, here is something I am currently excited about:

Today, Kyle and I went frolicking through the shelves at the Borders going-out-of-business sale. We have bought nine books this week. Right now, our book shelf looks like this, not including a row of textbooks on the bottom:

Today we grew our collection by this much:

I think we are headed down a path that ends up looking something like this:

via design is mine

Bring it on.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Calm Between the Storms

I am so very sunburned. I am embarrassed about this, because I feel like I am smarter than the sun. Unfortunately, Saturday got the best of me and I was asleep before I was SPF protected and here I am, three days later, my face slowly peeling away in layers of skin.

On the inside I am less irritated, at least for this week. I say that in a tone of celebration, since it’s been a jerky ride so far, but not with any expectation of permanence, since I can feel that the Lord is shaping me and He is not close to being done.  I have felt like a mine field especially recently, exploding unexpectedly, unfortunately for Kyle. I am not adjusting well to being a business woman and I fluctuate significantly between “fine” and “disaster.” I feel like I am growing, and that is good. I haven’t been able to identify why I am so unpredictable, or why I feel so unstable. I think it has a lot to do with learning how to practice unfamiliar habits.

As a leader, my sensitivity was a good thing. I was allowed to empathize and love freely. In an office, I am encouraged to do things like improve processes and be on time. It’s not that processes and checklists aren’t satisfying for me (let’s be honest…) but under the surface I am searching for something that is beautiful instead of something that is a machine. Instead of being told I am loved, I am being told I am a valuable asset. Instead of being encouraged, I am being praised. Instead of being poured into, I am being utilized.

The gospel isn’t a machine or a process. Faith is not a philosophical ascent. It is more important to know God than to know about God. So I am focusing in this season on remembering His character, and believing that He is who He says He is. He is more sovereign than I understand, and more Good than I give Him credit for. He is planning things I couldn’t dream of, and He is not holding back. He is relentless in His pursuit of me. He Loves me. He has rescued me. It is Good News, and I don’t want to ever grow out of it.

Also, I bought these shoes.

For work, of course!

Aren't they the best?